Man, life is going downhill, This is my last binge, It’s time to climb up the sobriety hill
See I could manage a day without my drug, See I too can float around and be the social bug, I can brag about it to my loved ones, To my all my Addict friends moving around with the temptation guns
They aren’t happy to see the clean me, They want me to carry on until I fall on my knees, They are certain I’ll join them for another round, Little do they know, I am strong enough to walk out of that infected compound, They cried with me when I ruined all my hard work, I disrespected my own sweat and blood which was my art work, I blamed it on my life and my history, I was in denial and that was my true story. I blamed the world, I vented out at my mother, She held me tight and said this too would pass and I felt stronger than no other.
I manipulated her, convinced her I was being treated unfair, I wish I had the wisdom to tell her that I was turning greedy and wanted more than my share.
My best of friends and family indulge in social drinking and drinking to celebrate,I wondered how they moved on the next morning to never even remember that date I had promise and I have the talent, Yet before I started off with my career I was already at my tail end.
I was already a pro at my addictions before my friends took off, Shocked they were seeing me drown they abandoned and brushed me off, Not many minus a few stuck by me, They knew I had enough and wanted to break free.
Today is my last session and tonight is my last party, Tomorrow onwards I’ll live clean and be hale and hearty, Today turned into tomorrow and tomorrow turned into the next year, I still lived in denial and pretended that I had no fear.
Not many places awaited me, The places I visited were poisonous enough to consume me, Friends masked themselves as healers,Promised to go clean with me, they were actually my dealers.
I was aware that I was heading towards the ruins, I avoided the fact that my state
a result of my own doings, I reached a stage where my body could take it no more,
I was drowning and shouting for help to reach the shore
The day finally arrived when my body gave up on me, Once a proud man I was
ashamed to even be me, I puked blood and fell on the floor, I realised deep inside
that what made me crawl should have actually made me walk out of that door
Admitted to the ICU, the doctors could see through,A few minutes would have been
too late, Lying on the stretcher I confessed that I was hooked and was prey to the
toxic bait.
My family held me tight and said they loved me,I asked for help and they promised
to get me out of this and set me free.
Once strong enough, I was discharged, My saviours showed me a place that would
help me recharge,It was where trapped souls like me were set free,
It was no lab where injections and shocks would alter my mind.
But a blessed Rehab where I could see the real me and leave everything behind
—-Mr Ronak Shah