Addiction affects the individual’s physiological well being, psychological and emotional states as well. As much as Substance use disorder can affect the user, it emotionally impacts their family even more. Addiction and family have a distressful relationship that is often left untreated.
The Relationship Between Addiction and Family
When a family is coping with a member struggling with an addiction, they have intense, conflicting emotions that strain even the strongest of relationships. The family knows that the loved one isn’t causing problems or hurting them intentionally. Empathy makes them provide him or her with support, love, and encouragement.
On the other hand, the manipulation lies, and emotional abuse that the addict does daily is a cause of pain and frustration in the family. As a result, these negative emotions manifest themselves in unhealthy ways creating strain in family ties.
Here are some of the most serious ways in which substance abuse affects the family.
1. Impact on Children
If a parent has an addiction or substance abuse problem, it will play a role in the child’s development. This is especially serious in single-parent households where the children have no one else to turn to.
When the parent is too busy looking for and using their substance of choice, it distracts them and as a result, they ignore the needs of their child. This irresponsibility ranges from not taking care of basic needs, such as providing meals and keeping the child clean, to secondary needs like ensuring their child is getting an education and social life.
Research has revealed that there is correlation between addicts’ abused children who have a higher chance of getting into substance use later in life. Even if the child doesn’t end up abusing substances, growing up in such an environment affects their emotional and mental health. This impacts their self-confidence, health, and social development.
2. Loss of Trust
Addicts don’t fulfill their agreements or promises, and this further strains their relationships. It’s worth noting, however, that most addicts usually mean to honor their commitments but the craving of the substances makes them unable to. Thus, if they’re in a relationship, their significant other is going to be frustrated due to the addict’s inability to meet their obligations.
They’re also likely to forget about the promises they make to their children. The child will have a hard time forming bonds with other people since they don’t know how to trust. This loss of trust often results in broken marriages and dysfunctional children.
3. Increased Stress
In their addiction, the addict leaves all the responsibilities to their families. The partner/family, therefore, becomes an enabler.
Taking care of bills, making decisions, raising the kids, and cleaning up after the addict is quickly going to take a toll on the other parent. This exposes them to an elevated risk of contracting stress-induced conditions such as high blood pressure and anxiety.
People who bottle up their stress are more likely to explode and unleash their emotions all at once. This can cause even more stress and discomfort among family members.
4. Financial Problems
Financing an addiction is expensive. Additionally, the substance abuse problem is likely going to cause the individual to lose their job due to poor performance or attendance. When that happens, they turn to their savings to quench their addiction.
Consequently, the family begins having problems paying for basic things such as food, clothing, utilities, and rent or mortgage.
There may be legal problems such as driving under the influence or being caught with drugs. The associated costs create an even bigger financial problem.
Enablers might even provide money for alcohol or drugs to the addict to appease them. This is not only depleting their finances; it’s also making the addict think that their family members will always be around to finance their fix.
5. Physical and Emotional Abuse
In addition to making the addict irrational, their substance abuse is also likely to put everyone around them on edge. This means that simple disagreements can result in big fights as everyone feels misunderstood.
With everyone acting out of character, physical abuse may start occurring on top of the pre-existing emotional abuse. Addicts can be perpetrators of abuse, but their vulnerability puts them at risk of becoming victims of it, too.
Children of addicts could end up becoming abusers as well. In an attempt to shield the addicted parent, some children may end up acting out and misbehaving. These actions can later scar them and cause them to turn to drinking or drug use as their relative did. Abuse and addiction can become a deadly cycle that can only be broken by treatment.
6. Fear and Confusion
Using usually makes an individual’s behavior unpredictable. You never know how they’ll react to a situation. In a bid to avoid physical or emotional abuse, family members begin walking on eggshells to appease their addicted loved one.
Children will become more reserved so as not to risk upsetting the individual. The end result is a culture of fear and confusion which ensures that the household rarely has joy.
The Six Family Roles in Addiction
When a person struggles with addiction, each family member develops their way of handling the problem. Clinicians notice five distinct roles that family members may take on to cope with their loved one’s substance use. Some families have a person for each role, others have members who adopt multiple roles, and others may not have any roles in their family.
The six family roles in addiction are a simple way to observe how family members of addicts deal with their loved ones. None of these roles are healthy ways of working through the difficulty, but each makes sense given the circumstances and effects of addiction.
The Addict
The addict is the person with the substance abuse problem and the focal point of the family. They are the source of most of the conflict in the home, whether directly or indirectly. Addicts tend to act and behave in whatever ways suit them, regardless of the effects on their family members. They may not realize how much the family dynamic centers around them.
The Caretaker
The caretaker is the family member who makes excuses or covers for the addict and the problems they create. They take on many household responsibilities to “keep the peace” and do their best to make sure the family is as happy as possible. The caretaker finds their purpose in enabling the addict, which keeps the entire cycle in motion. Caretakers are also martyrs of the family because they sacrifice themselves for what seems like the good of the family.
The Hero
The hero is similar to the caretaker but doesn’t participate in enabling the addict. Instead, they do everything they can to ensure the family appears normal. They try to maintain stability behind closed doors and maintain appearances outside the home. Heroes tend to be the “golden child”: highly responsible, self-sufficient, and perfectionists. However, their golden exterior merely covers up the increasing pain they feel inside.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat is the opposite of the hero, the “problem child”. They tend to be defiant and are filled with hostility toward the rest of the family. Instead of compensating for the chaos in the home, they try to draw attention to themselves through harmful behaviors. This diverts attention away from the addict in another way but still keeps the cycle in motion.
The Mascot
The mascot is the funny guy in the family. They try to alleviate the chaos and stress by diverting attention through humor or silly behavior. Mascots always tend to be in motion, constantly trying to make other family members feel better with their antics. This exhausting role keeps the mascot from having to look at the reality of their family dynamic, regardless of its impact.
The Lost Child
The lost child is the quiet one in the family. They do their best to stay out of the way and avoid creating any additional difficulty. The lost child watches as the chaos plays out among their family members and does what they can to blend into the background. Lost children tend to be younger or middle children, already used to their older siblings taking the lead. They all but disappear amidst the tumultuous environment in their home.
Dealing with Addiction in the Family
The first thing to do upon realizing that your loved one has a substance abuse problem is to encourage them to seek treatment. Approach them while they’re calm and sober, and talk to them compassionately. Using facts, explain to them how their addiction has damaging effects not only on them but also on the rest of the family.
If they don’t want to listen, consider staging an intervention where you get other key members of the family and a therapist involved.
It’s important that the whole family gets counseling or therapy. This is beneficial toward helping everyone recover and move on from the effects of the addiction. A therapist will create an environment where everyone can share their thoughts and feelings. They can also help you work through the present challenges while implementing strategies that will build trust.
The effects of drug addiction on family members can be dire. However, by seeking treatment for the addict and counseling for the entire family, affected families will have a better chance of rebuilding their lives and relationships.
How Family Therapy Can Help with Addiction
Family therapy is one of the many aftercare treatments offered at Zorbacare the best rehab in India. When the entire family visits the addict in treatment, they can better see how he or she is doing and provide support and encouragement. As family members, you can also better understand what your addicted loved one is going through, as well as observe the patterns and experiences that may have led them to substance abuse.
Below are the types of family therapy we have here at Zorbacare drug and alcohol rehab.
- Individual family counseling: Individual family counseling allows family members to attend therapy without the addict to process their own feelings and emotions about their loved one’s experience.
- Group family counseling: It’s also necessary to attend counseling with your addicted family member. This way you can move forward together in recovery and learn more about each other.
It’s important for family members of addicts to have plenty of support during this time of recovery. We have several online addiction guides that will give you an inside look at addiction and how it affects everyone involved. Through this mode of counseling, addicts can see how substance abuse affects the family.
Find Family Addiction Treatment at Zorbacare
Do you have a loved one who is battling addiction? For over 40 years, Zorbacare rehabilitation Center for drug and alcohol addiction has been helping families in India and globally to make successful recoveries from addictions. Let us help you find the best treatment for you and your family members. Contact us today to learn more, and we’ll connect with you. It’s time to get your family back to a healthy place.