When we look at a white carpet do we focus on the stain or on the beautiful carpet? When we eat a meal, do we pick out things we like or those we don\'t like? When we meet someone do we focus on their flaws or on their positives? When we look in the mirror, …
When we look at a white carpet do we focus on the stain or on the beautiful carpet? When we eat a meal, do we pick out things we like or those we don\’t like? When we meet someone do we focus on their flaws or on their positives? When we look in the mirror, do we notice our warts or our own beauty?
When we talk to ourselves, do we judge ourselves for our mistakes or appreciate ourselves for who we are?
The majority of us may be doing a bit of both. But many a times, we tend to focus on what is wrong rather than what is right. We categorize and distinguish and hyperfixate on the negatives rather than the positives. We may still be able to appreciate the outside world but towards ourselves we may not be able to do so. Human beings have evolved to predict the future and that gift comes with the side effect or trouble shooting all the time, looking for what needs to be fixed. Culturally, we are raising children to just be better, be better at everything they do, which means our whole outlook towards life becomes that of finding and criticizing and wanting to fix things.
In this way of living we loose our sense of contentment, of being satisfied with what is, instead of complaining about what it should be. We keep living in the past or future, as to criticize, we have to refer to past comparisons or experiences and we want whatever we are criticizing to be better in the future. We loose the present in this need to fix. And our psyche slowly gets programmed to have a negative outlook on our life, people and ourselves.
In order to break these patterns, practicing gratitude conscipusly, actively is the key. Gratitude practice orients us to what we have, and makes us content with it. It keeps us in the present, instead of focusing on a better future or past. It helps us create a beautiful space in our minds that will keep us happy and at peace with who we are. But gratitude practice as an isolated activity in the day won\’t be of much use unless you knowingly bring it into your daily life. Here are a few ways you can actively practice gratitude everyday:
1. Take a Pause every few hours
In the hustle of life, even we do something we enjoy, we don\’t really pause and reflect to allow gratitude to come. At a vacation, on a tourist spot we are already planning the next adventure, or taking pictures. When we finish a work task, we are focused on the next one. Eating a meal, we are thinking about the email we have to send. We don\’t really know how to sit and do nothing and enjoy a moment without filling it with hundreds of things. Keep regular alarms throughout the day which are reminders for you to pause for a few minutes, stop what you are doing and reflect. In those moments you can ask yourself how you are feeling, is there anything to appreciate right now, did you do something or did something good happen to you. Pause, reflect and appreciate.
2. Notice when you are complaining/ criticizing
Sometimes we may start focusing on the negatives automatically, and with no real immediate solutions or outcomes. It becomes a way of thinking, of talking. Sometimes we gossip about others for no reason, we criticize for the sake of it. Notice when you are doing that, without it serving any constructive purpose. Whenever you catch yourself criticizing, ask yourself whether this act is serving you right now, and whether you can do anything to change the thing you are complaining. If not, then there is no need for these thoughts and you can stop resisting reality and instead learn to accept it.
3. Gratitude Dairy
There are many ways to maintain a gratitude diary. You can write down at the end of the day what you felt grateful about. It could be people, experiences, kind gestures, things you did for yourself, food, anything that was pleasant. Being specific is key to this. It also helps you to end the day with a positive note, making you appreciate what went well in the day instead of what didn\’t. Of course, this doesn\’t mean we brush under the rug, things that didn\’t go well, or hurt us. We do need to acknowledge and work on them. However, we learn that Gratitude as a feeling is created, through your interpretations and focus on looking at positives.
4. Use technology to improve your practice
To improve your practice, it\’s also important to feel gratitude when things are happening and not just in retrospect. Maintain a photo journal by taking a picture of what you appreciate and keep it in a separate folder. It can be a cup of coffee, a meeting with a friend, a good workout, anything small thing you liked in the day. And over time you will have a gallery full of the little happy moments of your month. Alternatively, you can also use your voice recorder and record a gratitude message to whatever you are feeling happy about. Just whip out your phone and record your grateful or happy thoughts. There are apps which can give you prompts andremindera daily to improve your practice.
5. Gratitude for Challenges
It\’s easy to feel grateful for outright positives in our lives. But to feel grateful towards challenges and stressful events may be tough and in some cases impossible. But each trigger, each challenge is here to teach us something. For instance, an annoying coworker is an opportunity for you to practice patience. A particularly difficult assignment is here to teach you resilience. Obviously, we can\’t apply this to outright hurtful or abusive people and devastating situations. But for many challenges that come our way, we can adopt this attitude which can change the relationship we have with stress and challenges.
At ZorbaCare Rehabilitation Center, we treat alcohol and drug addiction with a goal to help reintegrate them back into society. Addiction treatment in India requires skill training and support groups, through which a person learns skills like mindfulness, gratitude, assertiveness, trigger management, stress management and so on. Rehab programs enable our clients to practice living sober within the rehab and apply these skills inside and outside the rehab. Gratitude practice is a part of the program that helps clients achieve their goals of living a sober life and making their recovery fruitful and productive. An attitude of gratitude is essential to a life in recovery.
