Are you an enabler? It is very difficult to deal with loved ones who are addicted to drugs or alcohol but it is equally important not to become an enabler. It’s quite natural to help your loved one but you need to understand where to draw a line, as it would only degrade them and …
Are you an enabler? It is very difficult to deal with loved ones who are addicted to drugs or alcohol but it is equally important not to become an enabler. It’s quite natural to help your loved one but you need to understand where to draw a line, as it would only degrade them and would not be beneficial for both the parties. Enabling someone does not help them in recovery and overcoming addiction but does exactly the opposite. The person continues on the destructive path without dealing with the consequences.
How do you know if you are enabling?
Making it easier for your loved one to continue with the addiction
Housing and feeding your loved one is your responsibility or duty is a common notion a family member does have, but these are the things a person should be doing on his own. If you are housing them and feeding them you are enabling your loved ones to continue using the substance without consequences such as having no roof over the head or losing a job which are the real repercussions of addiction. Refusing to enable would be a wake-up call for them to stay sober. You can help them and not enable by providing them with the required alcohol withdrawal treatment or by admitting them to a rehabilitation center for drug addicts.
Doing everything for your loved one
Before you lend the money to your loved one or cook them a meal ask yourself would they be able to do it without your help? There is a thin line between enabling and helping someone. If you are helping someone you are doing something for someone what the person is not capable of doing, enabling is when you do something for someone the person can or should be doing. When you withdraw your help you can do more to aid in your loved one’s recovery rather than doing everything for them. If you find yourself enabling take a step back it would be the wisest thing to do and in the best interest of your loved one. Your loved one may not have an insight or realization that they do require alcohol withdrawal treatment or alcohol rehabilitation here helping them out is not enabling.
If you are covering up for your loved one you are enabling
If you are lying and covering up for your loved ones for brining on alcohol or drugs you are enabling. It gets very difficult to watch your loved one suffer from immense grief due to missed opportunities, lost jobs or broken relationships but these losses are the push that a person requires to get sober. Damage to their reputation might be exactly what your loved one needs to realize there is a need to change.
Not letting them deal with their own problems
When you are solving the problems which are related to addiction let your loved one face the consequences alone. This will help them realize how the addiction is having a bad impact on their lives, inspiring treatment. Solving the problem for your loved one and wanting your loved one to get help are two different things. Getting professional help from rehabilitation centers is something they might not be able do to by themselves, this help is expected out of a caregiver, family member or a codependent. Covering up their mistakes is enabling, for example calling their boss and make excuses why they didn’t show up. The individual should face the consequences of getting to high to go to work. Then might volunteer themselves that they require treatment there are Rehabs in India where alcohol withdrawal treatment and drug rehabilitation is available.
Not setting boundaries
Some people have a hard time setting boundaries. If you set boundaries it helps the loved ones to abstain from drinking at least on a few occasions. You can set boundaries as to what you allow in your home and in your life. You can tell your loved one you won’t have drugs use or drinking in your house. By doing this you can make your loved one understand that they might lose important relations in life if they continue with their using. Here you are setting a boundary about the behaviors that you will allow in your life. It does require detachment from your loved one which is difficult to achieve, but it is quite beneficial for your loved one. It might lead the person to stay motivated and attend treatment on his own and not by force.
If you find yourself enabling a loved one it is the time to break the addictive behavior cycle. If you require more help contact Zorbacare Rehabilitation centre is a luxury rehab for de-addiction with a team of mental health professionals. Seeking help is the first step towards recovery.
